best of 09'

best album

Merriweather Post Pavillion - Animal Collective







best show

Girl Talk - March 8 2009 (however if pictures surface i will deny this statement) ;)







best song

Let It Fall - Lykke Li (technically released in 08;, but a personal anthem for 09')







show i will never forgive myself for missing

Santigold - Miami







best trip

oh darn...if only new york had been in 09'....guess it'll be South Africa. (don't worry devon, it's a distant second) hahaha

Imagine

you make me laugh stephan.

this is in response to the convo stephan and i were having in the last posts comment log. but i want everyone to see my question posed at the end.

umm in the sixth grade it wasn't much, more of a semi-autobiographical short story.

i don't have much of an imagination, unfortunately. but i do think i'm pretty good at lying.

do you think there's a difference?

Infectious...in a good way ;)

so i can't seem to get this song out of my head so i'll spread the wealth. it's positvely empowering...haha. you'll see soon why i'm laughing. (copy & paste sorry)

oh and credit to mr.f ....thank you friend :)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3DbaJgSkDVg



good stuff huh? let's see how many more times you watch it after i leave.

well i also wanted to right a little book report on the novel i just finished

...whoa, can i just take this in for a second.

I actually finished a novel! i can't tell you how many novels i've read half-way through and have never finished them....well not as many as i've actually completed but in the past few years i'd say there were probably 3 or 4 books half read on my nightstand.

and to blow your minds further...technically, i finished two! man, a trip to the motherland really works out your procrastination kinks (at least it did for me)

anyways i'll have to tell you about 1) the stranger by Albert Camus and then 2) Eleanor Rigby by the Beat....I mean Douglas Coupland :)

...next time.

sorry i need some cliffhangers in this piece.

A Darker Shade of Grey

My friend posted a poem on her blog and it reminded me (for some reason) of this song i heard at work today. I'm usually good at keeping my emotions in check....alright who am i kidding i'm a tear factory on crack and over time. but anyways i embarrassed myself at work when i started crying as i was listening to this song...but what is a girl to do. I'm not exactly sure who i think about when i think about it, but i've lost a few major people in my life recently, so without getting to far into details i'll let you read the lyrics.

i don't know Keith Anderson and never heard this song before, all i know is it's country, it's depressing, and i love it.


Artist: Keith Anderson
Album: Unknown
Title: I Still Miss You




I've changed the presets to my truck,
So those old songs don't sneek up.
But they still find me
And remind me
Yeah you come back that easy.
I've tried resturants I've never been to
Ordered new things off the menu
That i never tried
'Cause you didn't like two drinks
In you by my side

[Chorus:]
I've talked to friends
Talked to myself
Talked to god
I prayed like hell
But i still miss you

I tried sober I tried drinkin'
I've been strong and I've been weak
But I still miss you.
I've done everything move on like I'm supposed to
I'd give anything for one more minute with you
I still miss you
I still miss you baby

I never knew til you were gone
How many pages you were on
It never ends I keep turning
And line after line and you are there again
I dont know how to let you go
You are so deep down in my soul
I feel helpless so hopeless
Its a door that never closes
No I don't know how to do this

[Chorus]

I've talked to friends
I've talked to myself
I've talked to God
I prayed liked hell but I still miss you

I tried sober I tried drinking
I've been strong and I've been weak
And I still miss you
I've done everything
Move on like I'm supposed to
I'd give anything for one more minute with you
I still miss you yeah

I still miss you
I still miss you...... yeah.... yeah.....

the bank

I just recieved an automated telephone call from my bank saying they've put a temporary hold on my bank card because of 'suspicious activity.' I thought it would've been just routine since i was out of town. Turns out someone tried to make an online purchase with my card for $927....for COMICS!! What The.... now i hate comics even more.

But now i'm a bit paranoid...are 'you' watching me right now??? reading my blogs...and stealing my bank information??? WHO ARE YOU! I can't take this anymore.

Listen to me people! Save Yourselves! Go cut up your bank cards, withdraw all your money from the bank, buy a safe (or hide it in your matresses), and while your out buy a shotgun.

it's the only way.

my girlie grey side

hmmm...these shoes might be the death of me. no, literally, i like them a lot but at the same time i'm scared i'm going to fall and crack my head open. would that be considered suicide?

i shall call them my suicide heels.

my mom calls them the three story high(heels)

:)

hullo!

i don't know where to begin...so i'll go back to the beginning.

the plane ride over was...an experience...15 hours in the same seat i know people have done worse, but i wanted to kill myself (bow wow was on out flight) a little side point, lol. well, due to all of my down time i finally finished ONE of my books, which is the size of a childrens novel and still took me 500 years to complete....so it was quite a moment of victory on my part! but it was also the only time in which i wrote in my notebook (other than 58 pages of notes from the convention, not an overexaggeration) so i'll just write what i wrote...or an edited version ;)

I've been trying to put off starting this trip, starting this sentance, starting this song (Transatlantism - death cab for cutie)
this trip - i don't feel like i should be here, having this priviledge.
this sentance - maybe it has to do with nostalgia. maybe this particular notebook has too many memories and opening it would be the equivalence to unleashing a pandoras box of emotions. besides i knew one sentance will never stop at one ssentance.
this song - I always have to rumage through many old playlists, playlists that should have probably been deleted but I never got around to that task, I've been thinking of listening to this song in this very chair on this very flight for days. the only plan i've had for this whole "adventure." i thought it appropriate as it is my first trek across 'the pond.' even though its night time at sea and you can barely make out a perimeter of the wing i can tell it's beautiful outside. I keep reminsing about star gazing in the Pacific, on the Galapagos trip. I'm looking forward to that when i'm in 'the bush' of South Africa. My eyes are starting to burn and I have to take my Malarone.

i still feel a connection...i hope it'll be interuppted.

Well, it's AIDS day

And I'm heading to South Africa.

Two completely unrelated events, but very true in their own right. i have this fear that I'm not suppose to be going. As if this was meant for someone else, not me. I've been so thrilled about this trip since we got accepted and now I'm almost overcome with apprehension. Maybe it's due to the fact I've never traveled as a 'delegate', or it could be the unknown which makes me uneasy. i looked up 'South Africa' on google.com to see what the secular world thinks of this foreign land. and this is actually one of the first pictures that emerged. It's beautiful.



An old friend of mine (native S. African) would always tell me how much he loved and missed his home town and how he would take every chance to go and visit. Also a patient, who is from Nigeria but travels to S.A. frequently for work told me how I will thoroughly enjoy it. And if the people there are anything like them or their descriptions I'm sure it will be more than satisfying. But that's not what I'm restless about...I guess it's hard to explain, but I wish it wasn't.

I have to go pack.

having qualities that give great pleasure; delighting the senses or mind

It seems there's more important topics at hand than beauty; what it is, how to attain it, what it feels like. There's scandals being exposed in the news, the need to start packing my suitcase (which i keep putting off), but it's still there, in the forefront of my mind. Does this mean I'm obsessed? Or in lack of self confidence? I don't think so. I was at a local beauty salon (let's not even start with the significance of that term) taking part of a somewhat ritualistic brow waxing when I came across one of the most 'beautiful' pictures of a woman I have seen in a long time needless to say, the picture stuck with me. Then a couple weeks later I'm watching an episode of Tough Love on VH1, don't worry I'm very much aware of the shows' rating on the 'trash tv Richter scale', and the host which actually sounds like he knows what he's talking about was talking about confidence, and how much of a attraction it is for the opposite sex. seems like i see an ongoing theme here...

I have found nothing to compete with this line of thought. While not becoming egotistical and self-absorbed let's take some time out and really look at ourselves. Not just the makeup we put on to cover our blemishes or the scars we have earned from acting our age when we were growing up...but really have a moment of self-reflection (literally and figuratively) and find something that we offer to this world that no one else has. Whether it's humor, intellect, efficiency, or patience, let's have a "I Love Me" day.


let me know what you find...





Glamour Magazine 08/2009
http://www.glamour.com/health-fitness/blogs/vitamin-g/2009/08/on-the-cl-the-picture-you-cant.html